Lil E Explains: How you know you know stuff
It was Friday afternoon and for the second day in a row, Lil E distracted himself out of a nap at school. This does not make the witching hours any more interesting, bearable or entertaining. My retaliation is also distraction -- questions, songs, offers to let him wear my jewelry, giving in to letting him zone on the big chair with his paci, fourteen tattered stuffed animal babies and whatever god-awful show's programmed against the Jim Lehrer Hour.
In the car, though, I went to my first ammunition -- pointed questions about the day. We landed on Flubber, the rubbery, Play-Dohing gunk those 4-year olds flock to like fishy crackers dipped in chocolate and made into trail mix with Oreos, juice boxes and anything in the cabinets containing red dye, high fructose corn syrup and orange mac-and-cheese dust.
"Since you like Flubber so much, I should ask your teacher for the recipe so we can make it at home," I said.
"Yeah, she knows how to make Flubber," Lil E confirmed.
"She knows everything," I said into the rear view mirror.
"NO SHE DOESN'T!" Lil E retaliated quickly.
"Well, she knows how about Flubbering!" I said, "I don't know about that."
"Well, she doesn't know everything," he insisted.
"I know, I know," I smiled. "No one knows everything."
There wasn't even a pause before he launched in with the inevitable.
"Well, I know everything."
He was so convinced. And convincing, I couldn't help myself. Sassy Mommy took over the wheel.
"What's my middle name?" I asked as casually as I could.
"I don't know!" He seemed surprised and then genuinely curious. "What is it, Mommy?"
"Hope," I told him. "My middle name is Hope."
And then came perhaps the best comedic timing I've witnessed from the carseat yet.
"WELL! Now I know everything!"
He was strident, on point and I swear that if I hadn't laughed, he would have ended it with a "Thank you! And goodnight!"
Lil E may be wise beyond his four pacifier-packed years. Please, let him also 'splain:
Reader Comments (1)