is a single mama in the city, super-savvy editor, writer, video host and shameless shoe whore.
Windows Wednesday
Wednesday, August 29, 2007 We've been talking a lot about Lil E's upcoming birthday (three...oh my) and I've been thinking a lot about babies. It is no coincidence.
Last year at this time, Bruce and I agreed to talk about trying to have a second child once Lil E turned three. And here we are, on the cusp of that. We made the agreement in hopes that we'd be out of this apartment, that we'd be in a better financial situation, that we'd be feeling really ready. We are none of those.
But about a month ago in church, two babies were being baptised and one of our ministers was cradling an ivory-skinned girl with dark and wispy hair. She gazed out at the congregation curiously as he spoke about the meaning of her names and said a prayer for life.
I leaned over Lil E and whispered into Bruce's ear, "Do you hear that?
"What?" he mouthed to me.
"That's the sound of my ovaries flipping."
The silent, persistent sound of my body -- all mine now after 18 months of breastfeeding and many more of being climbed on and catapulted from and carried in -- whispering for another chance.
We haven't set a time or date or even if this will all happen soon. That doesn't mean, though, that I can't look back a bit, that I can't peak through the window to three years ago at this time, when I was very big with child (and perhaps red meat, watermelon and McDonald's ice cream cones).
I can't believe that what was growing in my belly in these photos became the boy that changed me instantly and forever, the boy who now climbs the ladders at the park alone and told me today, "At Starbucks, I will enjoy a treat and you will certainly enjoy your nice, warm cup of coffee. That's what we will do at Starbucks. OK, mommy?"
And I am rather in awe that we are thinking of starting it all again.
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