is a single mama in the city, super-savvy editor, writer, video host and shameless shoe whore.
It is what it is: Today we go to court
Monday, June 2, 2008 
Months and months ago, when I received a court order for a progress hearing on June 2nd to examine the state of my divorce and resolve any of those detailed and seemingly-gigantic divorce issues, it felt like a lifetime away.
But then, for the last eight months out of survival and then sanity and then a need to just be and breathe, I have taken my life in much smaller increments than I did before my marriage crash-landed. For a while, Wednesday felt like a lifetime a way. Then it was next week, then it expanded slowly from there. Still, though, what I can take on in my calendar comes in little boxes now, not in big grids or multi-month pages to be flipped every so often.
And actually, that is a good thing. It slows me down. It focuses my attention. It keeps me as present as I can possibly be when I'd otherwise have been consulting my calendar and Crackberry (who are we kidding, I haven't taken the time to figure that out yet?!) and looking four or ten or seventeen weeks ahead.
But all that being in the present means that sometimes, things like court dates sneak up and settle into your lap. And here mine is.
I feel good. I feel confident. I feel supported. I feel strong. And I am told I only have to feel that way for the fifteen minutes or so we are in front of the judge. Then I am free to cry into my dad's chest or stare into a latte or just go back to work. I imagine, it will be -- and I will be -- just fine.
Or rather, I envision it will be just fine. When I leave the court room today, past the half-door separating the seating and the judge's stand, beyond security and back on to the el, I will be one step closer.
One step closer to being done. That could be a long way off or it could be next week. No matter. It's too much to take on regardless of how many days or hours it ends up being until this is finalized and I am free of everything it has been.
I'll just take on today's court date, and keep it right there, with as much as I have and as much as I can pull up. Nothing more, nothing less.
Pssst. As completely Donna Mills on Dallas as it sounds...yes, I will be wearing something fab on my feet. Smart, sassy power shoes (which, for me, do not match in any way the navy Republican suit I was required to wear in my former corporate life) totally impact litigated lady's confidence. I kid you not.
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