Triumphant

It has been a long time since I ran five miles, and the last time I did, it was February and I was training on a treadmill in a dank fitness room that resembled a storage space. Lil E gave me the thumbs up every time I yelled out over the raunchy songs blaring through my earbuds that I'd hit another mile-mark.

Then I hit some bumps -- an injury that led to throbbing muscles in my calf, a case of lazius gluteus, doctor-orderd time off, general blah-ness, more of that calf fucker, loss of athletic mojo and a little neck-cranker of a car accident. But I also had moments of really hitting my stride. Today was one of thsoe days. This afternoon, after spending an hour debating between a nap and a much-needed run, I just ran.

It was hard, really hard, for 3-1/2 miles. Then the pain in my legs eased, the creepy old dude on the bike who kept catching up to me and nodding weirdly veered off, the back-and-forth that makes me wonder how in the hell I will get through this 15K in just two weeks seemed to melt off, not completely but just enough.

Perhaps it was because I told myself I only really needed to run 3 miles. Maybe it was warmed up muscles or that lovely little running high oozing over my brain. Whatever it was, I let it be and I went. I went 4, then 4.3, then 4.58. Five was just around the corner and I raced after it.

It wasn't a marathon and only a few hours later, my body aches, my calves are complaining and I am so tired. But I feel like, even though I'm weeks behind in my training, I can really do this thing. I saw my body perform and I felt that warrior spirit return.I've missed that.

There's a lot work to be done. Tomorrow, I'll see the sports doc and the day after that, I will be back out there going at it again, maybe with creepy bike guy right beside me.

With so much going on in my head, my schedule, at work, with this boy and this man, I want more of what I've only had in bits and pieces over the last eight months and I want it just for myself. For tonight, though, I'm shamelessly  and triumphantly raising a toast of lime selzter, sushi and ibuprofen to myself.