What are all those other Jessica Ashleys up to?

"Well, aren't you lucky? Or something, anyway?" She was an older lady and she was trying to be friendly with one of the "kids" (humor me). I was at Macy's, waiting for what seemed like forever for the big plastic things with buttons to confirm I had enough credit to buy all the stuff on the counter. "You have the name of that famous girl Jessica and her sister!"

I smiled and nodded. I'm used to it. I'm so used to it that I dared not go into the finer details, like that Jessica Simpson's sister Ashlee and my last name are spelled differently and that they are two women with one set of parents and I am one woman with two names. I also didn't share that I get a good deal of traffic simply from the misspelled Google searches for the (cringe) singers/actresses/makers of beautiful shoes and excuses for hair extensions.

It's not just Jessica and Ashlee who I seem to tag along with on the interwebz and at Macy's when all I really want is to sign my receipt. There are plenty of other Jessica Ashleys out there, some who have dropped their last name and others who have taken this one (because it's awesome) and others who...well, let's be honest, who are in the porn industry.

And to think that once upon a time, I dreamed of changing my name to Ginger or Mitzi. I woud have missed out on being a part of all this wonder and light.

1.  Perhaps you remember this Jessica Ashley? Perhaps from a Forever 21 sale flyer or Euro-club techno video? Since we last visited her, she's really grown her portfolio (dear baby Jesus, please let me one day do a Debbie Harry photo shoot with a disco ball and my tiny cakes hanging out of my short-shorts) and added some commentary that is awesome and empowered and I may consider adding to my photos. My favorite is this line:

GUYS- PLEASE DO NOT HIT ON ME.  I WILL NOT RESPOND TO YOU.  I AM HERE TO WORK.

Think of how much more productive I could be if I had that label here every day.We JAs really have to be firm elst we will be mired in unwanted advances. And leg warmers. Lots and lots of leg warmers.

2.  Our second Jessica Ashley lives worlds away. And I don't just mean because she lives in the South. She's a 2011 Miss Louisiana Teen USA contestant. Even though her competition includes an Aspen, an Elette, an Ashton, an Ashlyn and a lady who terrifies me simply by wearing a scowl and the name Faith Good (I'm pretty sure that's a Crucible flashback at work), Miss Jessica Ashley's smile will surely outshine all that hot-rollered blondness and rapid-fired Crest White Stripping. If not, other Jessica A., you know I have a tiara I am so happy to bequeath to you.

3.  Last Jessica Ashley -- make that Jessie -- has a blog I don't quite get. But that's probably because I was ordering my college cap and gown when she was being swaddled in a hospital blanket. And I've never read the Harry Potter books (I know, shame). Oh, and I hate cats. But I can't keep myself from checking out what she posts anyway. Maybe it's that bewildered cat in the crocheted hoody or the fact that every image and line she puts up is reblogged (is this a term from thr Goblets of Wizardry I'll finally get in five to seven when Lil E's ready to read these things?) hundreds and hundreds of times. This lady-friend is working it. Hats off -- big, ginormous velvety stars and moons pointy hats with kitty ears poking out -- to you.

Oh, no, kittens. There are many more of us out there. Here are five more Jessica Ashleys doing their thang for the good of us all.