When you talk about ta-tas this much, this is what you get

I shouldn't be surprised that people find me most often by searching the f-word in combination with TV and shoes (nice combo, people) or terms like "Britney's vajayjay" (that so-2005 phrase haunts me still). But when I added approximately 18 letter Os to the word "boobs," I thought I'd knock myself out of the old knocker searches.

Not so much (this term, on the other hand, I will exhaust until this decade runs out). 

Check out how some folks have found Sassafrass lately and led right to this moment in a dressing room with with me, The Boobologist, some of my lady friends and their cameras and, no shocker, The Girls.

I'm mostly impressed that there are people (are you one of them?...because it's totally OK if you are and I swear I will not tell too many other people) that are inflated with as many Os as I've chosen to include. I'm a little concerned that I've only ranked third among other people who've posted on the topic. But I do have to give a hat tip to you, Mr. Peter Im, who titled your post "Go From Boobs to BOOOOOOOBS" and won the (ahem) top spot in this particular search. Good for you, sir! I can't wait to start penning my Peeeeeeeeeeeeter post in your honor and win out over you with the audience who chose to really amp up their normal, everyday titular typing.

Welcome, I say to you, BOOOOOOOBS searchers! I hope you nestle right here, get cozy, feel snuggled up and taken care of and never, ever have to peck out that many Os again.