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Monday
Apr092012

We call him Nicolas Cage Jesus

IMG_1482There are many portraits of the Son of God hanging in my grandmother's house. My grandfather was a Methodist minister who came out of retirement several times to return to the pulpit at churches in need. It's a home where there's always grace before a meal and sunrise service on Easter really happens at sunrise. 


But ever since my brother whispered to me across the expansive dining room table during a family reunion or holiday meal in a way that was intended to sound nonchalant but was so purposeful he almost did a spit=take laughing at himself, "Oh, so you're checking out Nicolas Cage Jesus? Think he's hot?", I can't stop looking at this one painting.


Even before we walk in the door and kiss our hellos, before we pull into the pine cone-strewn driveway, before we turn on to the winding drive named after a prince, before we exit the highway that stretches out over endless flat miles dotted with turbines every few-hundred feet, I am thinking about Nicolas Cage Jesus.


Don't let it offend you. Seeing this vision of "Snake Eyes" may have brought us closer to the Lord. And most images of Christ do depict his flowing locks. They just aren't focused or close up enough to reveal whether that hair is really plugs.


Obviously, this is facelift/weird moustache Nic Cage. Pre-action hero, pre-gnarly "Face/Off" repulsion, pre-SNL "Jeopardy" mockery. I like to think it's somewhere in between "Moonstruck" Cher-passion and slicked-back "Family Man." This Jesus is really "City of Angels" to me. At least in spirit. 


Just take a look at Nicolas Cage's filmography and you will see that his career is expansive. But maybe, just maybe, he's showing up all those Coppolas after all. Maybe Nicolas Cage star does shine a little brighter than the rusty one on Hollywood Boulevard. 


I'm not saying the actor IS a savior of any kind. But I am saying, I could take my Jesus having a bit of a growl and smirk spread across that five-o'clock shadow.


Judge ye at ye will but I think the comparison's pretty (sorry for this) dead on:


Nicolas-Cage-Con-Air-hair IMG_1482

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Reader Comments (5)

And they both raised the dead and/or Arizona.
April 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterWhit
Love this! I'm glad Nick Cage Jesus finally got the acclaim he has deserved!
April 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSeth
Whit, now I am thoroughly enjoying the scene where Mary Magdalene turns to Nicolas Cage Jesus and says, "Hiiiiiiiii! Hi! I want a baby!
This post, and then the comments (because you know I love me some HI) made my day!
April 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterClare

We have this EXACT picture and came to the same conclusion.

January 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterElisabeth

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