Sometimes I eat more than fishy crackers and soy butter

Now that our visitation schedule is signed and sturdily in place, I know exactly when I will have time to myself each week. At first, this was hard. Now, thankfully and with some deep breathing, grrrlfriend conversations and 50-minute hours with my therapist, it is easier. I've chosen to embrace the time rather than throw a bunch of negative energy into those hours.

And so I have Wednesdays and every other weekend to wander through the grocery store, clean and finally get to deadlines that somehow have slipped past me. But I've also decided to get out of the house, have fun and do things that will rejuvenate me so I feel good when Lil E comes home.

Mostly, this means that I don't cook on the nights he's away. I've never loved cooking for one anyway and so these nights are a great excuse to try new dishes that some other person whips up.

Going out to eat and exploring new restaurants has been a treat for many reasons (after the jump):

• I get to carry a cute clutch that
  compactly fits my credit card, cell phone and lipstick. There's no room
  for crayons, Transformers, half-used Kleenexes, hand sanitizer, eight
  super tampons, wet wipes, Legos or whatever else the kid needs to empty
  from his cargo pant pockets as soon as we get into the car.

• I don't have to scan the menu for hot dogs or
  mac-and-cheese bites or buttered noodles as soon as I sit down,
  eradicating all bad mommy guilt when I go for the wine list first.

• I can meet friends late and linger over
  appetizers, entrees and dessert. I can take a cab and have a second
  glass of wine. I can talk about work and boys and if I indeed have the
  stuff to be Paris Hilton's BFF without pausing to put some toy in
  time-out or shush the penis talk at least until I'm done with my salad.

• I can relax, finally sit across people I've been
  wanting to catch up with for ages but haven't made the time to see,
  fill up my belly with food I wouldn't otherwise try and charge up my
  batteries for the rest of the week.

• I've rediscovered one joy in the ritual of eating
  at these dinners and that is good for me. I've also come to appreciate
  the meals we have at home more, knowing that I will leave the planning
  and cooking and cleaning to someone else in just a few nights. And
  finally, it has helped me relax even more into the restaurant
  adventures I share with Lil E, so that the mac-and-cheese bites seem to
  taste better and the coloring is more fun. Those occasional trips are
  more fun since they are no longer my only times outside of our home.

I'm lucky to have friends
who also love to eat out and they've given me great recommendations for
places to go on visitation Wednesdays and Fridays. You might just find
us at a table for two at one of these restaurants I've quickly learned
to love on my nights out:

• Chalkboard
  has sweet decor and a seasonal menu with so many good offerings, it is
  hard to choose. Do, though, be sure to order the chocolate egg roll.
  And the service? Superb.

• Bistro Campagne's
  outdoor patio is secluded and romantic and the bar is warm and
  intimate. I'm not a lamb lover, but their roasted lamb is divine.

• Sweet Thang
  re-opened in Roscoe Village and added a little swank to the new space.
  I love the quiche but really just eat it out of obligation before I
  really get into the turtle brownies. Oh dear God, the brownies.

Comments

[Karen]

1. Why does the kid carry 8 super tampons in his pocket?

2. You're going to cry the first 100 times or so.

3. Sigh. Everything changes and it gets better, I swearsies.

[Pam]

I learned, with time and therapy as well, to at first, tolerate my alone time after my divorce. Then, accept it and finally, to RELISH it with gusto.I learned that my boys were fine with their Dad and no, he didn't deserve them but they deserved to know their dad and to have that time with him.Finally, my free time gave me some peace about my divorce and eventually led to me meeting so many wonderful new friends who were not part of my "couples" circle of friends, who had some shared experiences and interests beyond my neighborhood or kids.I learned to walk slowly through the mall, linger over books in the adult section at Barnes and Noble and sit and people watch while enjoying a glass of wine, BY MY SELF! :)And then it even led to meeting my current husband who is the polar opposite of my first hub. And that was perfect for me.ENJOY!

[Marlon]

We have been to the Bistro Campagne's recently. Their menus are made of organic food products wherever possible. And they have a good beer list.