Speeding the pace

Years ago, I participated in what was then the Avon Breast Cancer 3-Day Walk. The challenge was to team up with several of my grrrlfriends and walk 60 miles over three days.

Since it was long before the economic dive in this country and because I am fortunate to have many loved ones who care about this cause the way I do and were able to make donations of all amounts, the fundraising was easier than I imagined it would be.

The training was harder. But I treated it like an A-student doing a social studies project. I walked and I walked and I walked. I walked miles and miles to Wrigley Field and back in a thunderstorm. I walked up and down side streets in neighborhood after neighborhood. I walked on treadmills next to the old men in tube socks and slippers who live at the Y. I walked on forest preserve trails and on the sculpture walk to the 'burbs and around and around and around my block, until I was confidently and completely prepared for the event.

It's about time for a new challenge. It's not like I need another thing on my list. But when Foodmomiac asked me to join a team of mom bloggers in training for a relay next summer, I said yes without thinking twice. We won't know for a few weeks if we'll actually get to run in that relay. But if we do, each member of the team will run three legs of four to six miles. It seems like a long time away, but friends, I have a lot of work to do.

The difference between this challenge and all the walking I did years ago is that running scares the hell out of me. I've tried many times to force myself into loving it but have never committed to it long enough to let that feeling grow from the the place where the sheer disdain for it lived. Still, I've had many opportunities to bow out of this commitment already and I am still in. I am still signed up. I am still doing it.

I don't know why, but I have an idea I need something big, powerful and hard to work toward that is not about my job, Lil E, or anything or anyone else. I think I need to prove to myself -- once again -- that I can do this. I've hidden in the safety and serenity of yoga and walking, and that has been necessary and wonderful in slowing myself and my life down to manageable gait. But sSomething is pulling me, step by step and breath by breath, out of that.

The training schedule officially starts December 8th. But after reading this ass-moving brilliance over at All & Sundry and hearing how inspired Foodmomiac is about adding a half-marathon to her own training schedule, I decided to start early.

I won't be fundraising for this event. But I certainly can use your support. If you see me lapping the park near my house, feel free to fall in line with me. If you have words of playlists, advice or your own inspiration to share, please do. If you want to join me in running toward a new and big challenge, I'd love it.

For now, I'm taking this as I am trying to take everything else right now -- one time at a time until it really does feel good and I can honestly say I am just as confident, prepared and anticipatory as I was all those years ago.

Comments

[Melissa]

So proud of you. Love that you walk the talk with such grace and exuberance.

[Jen McG]

That's awesome! Go you! My tip is it helps to have a friend to go running with, it makes me *almost* look forward to running :) Good Luck!