Because this is often how the universe works

While I am trying trying trying to upload some crazy-adorable Easter photos, let's take a moment to get back to the boob talk, shall we? Of course we shall. By now you are all way too familiar with the grrrls in my shirt, but what the hell? Here's a bit of recap and some more details. Consider it previously deleted scenes.

Several months ago, when I was first and frantically dealing with my lumpy boob issue, I made the call to schedule a mammogram. I made the call to one of the best breast health centers in the country, located right here at my very own hospital. The wait time was almost a year. I was shocked. Lump or no lump, I was welcome to make an appointment for the early months of 2010.

I made the call to the second reference my doctor gave me, a private office also of high repute. They didn't take my insurance and I would have to pay out of pocket and hope for reimbursement from my insurance.

I called the third place on the list. It wasn't fancy. It had no reputation that I could find. But I could get an appointment for a few days later. I took it.

The clinic was bare bones and tucked into a strange old building downtown. But the nurses were nice and the results came back quicker than I anticipated. That was February 20.

That mammogram came back clean and my doctor suggested I get an ultrasound mammo just to be completely sure and to ease my amped-up anxieties. The thing is, my new clinic only does straight, baseline mammograms. Nothing else. I was back to the doctor who doesn't take my insurance and the long-wait breast health center at the hospital.

I took a deep breath, hoped for the best and called the breast health center.

I was still worked up but I also didn't really want to put down a bunch of cash when I have perfectly good coverage. I was transferred and transferred and left many messages in my kindest voice. I spoke in the most even pace I could, partly so I wouldn't sound worked up but also hoping I'd be able to wiggle into a cancellation spot before the summertime.

I finally got in touch with the nice lady who solely schedules ultrasound screenings. The first available appointment, she told me with absolutely no interest in my sweetness or measured pace, would be April 17. I took it.

Then I spent a week worrying about. I had an appointment (at that point) 6 weeks away. Why would I stress?

Because I wanted to take the damn test, take the step, stop worrying so damn much about my boobs, my boy, all of the go-to scenarios I was trying so hard not to envision. Plus that day, April 17th, is the day before my birthday. It just felt like bad, bad timing.

I called and I called and I left more messages. The nice lady came through, found a cancellation for me for April 6th. And I took that one instead, took the day off work, and lined up someone to take me in for my second-step mammo.

Then I had an annual exam and I poured out my anxiety to my gynecologist. She recommended -- highly recommended -- that I go to the doctor who does not take insurance (still following? my ta-tas are complicated). She seemed frustrated herself with the breast health center and said it was worth paying the money up front just to close the door on my worries.

I debated it. I agreed with my doctor but the appointment at the other place was already set and it just seemed easy to follow through with it.

I was mistaken. I went to the appointment, clasped the gown together in front of me in the private waiting area for an hour, then was told that I could have the mammogram after all. The breast health center hadn't told me I needed the films from my first mammogram, even though I'd called three times (I know, the pace was out the window...apparently, with the pictures of the insides of my tits) asking what I needed to bring and if we were all set to go. They said we were all set to go. We were not. The sweet nurse at the disorganized, massive wait, highly reputable breast health center squeezed me in for a special appointment for tomorrow, April 14. Not great, but better.

The only caveat is that I'd have to go get the films myself (because, she confided, if I had them sent over she was sure they'd be lost). I'd also have to arrange for new doctor's orders and speak with my insurance and...blah blah blah.

I went home and called the doctor who doesn't take insurance. We traded calls. I wanted to schedule an appointment, especially after I found out from my insurance that I'd be out a hundred bucks or so for this second mammogram if I got it from this out-of-network doctor. A hundred bucks? Good Lord, I thought, I will pay it. Just get me the damn test..

My own gyno assured me this doc would get me in quickly, would be professional, would get her the results as quickly as possible. I trust that. But by the time Magda,  the scheduler from the non-insurance place and I connected, all of April and most of May was booked. I was back, frustratingly, to the breast health center.

What's a woman have to do to get her breasts all jellied up and peered into?

Then, this afternoon, my phone rang. It was Magda. She found an open space with another doctor in the practice and it was mine if I wanted it. I exhaled.

I said I'd take it. It almost seemed irrelevant when it was, just as long as I could avoid the waiting room at the breast health center again, so long as I could get this ultrasound done. I clicked open my Outlook calendar. I asked her the time and the date.

One o'clock, she said.

April 17th.

And now, much like my breast in waiting, we have come full circle. A very full circle. Maybe it wasn't bad timing after all. Just a bad venue.

Comments

[Julie]

I've been reading here for the past several months so I am not completely up-to-date on all of your info.

Would you consider going out to the 'burbs for a test? I have very fibrous breast tissue and at 48 have been told that mammograms are next to useless, but I had a great experience at Medical Imaging of Northbrook Court. The main doc there is just about the only one who did not want to stick needles into my lumps at first touch. If your insurance is taken there I highly recommend them. And you could have the added experience of wandering the Mall.

Also, was your first mammo digital? With my issues I used to have to have diagnostic ultrasounds with every mammo, but with the improvements in digital mammography I have been o.k. with just those for the past few years.

[2Jmama]

Hang in there hon!! Thanks for the update, you and your ta ta's are always in my prayers!