is a single mama in the city, super-savvy editor, writer, video host and shameless shoe whore.
Wednesday
Aug072013
Unexpected milestones
Wednesday, August 7, 2013 
This post is inspired by Shot@Life, an initiative of the United Nations Foundation. Please leave a comment below. Every comment provides a vaccine for a child.
My son was five months old when he said his first word. This is the stuff of family legends that gets bent and bowed and tucked away and brought out again in a far-different shape that it was first created. One day that five-month milestone will be whittled down to three months or earlier, maybe shrink back to the womb. But five months is the true timeline.
I know because I was there to hear the "HI!" emerge from the babbling.
By the time he was a year old, I had a well-filled notebook lined with careful columns of the 120 words he could say. I tracked it all, just pages away from spiral-bound lists of when I breastfed him, how long his naps were, what he weighed at each well-check doctor appointment. I read like crazy and stacks of child-development books, affirmations for new parents, guides to schedules and sleeping and crying it out and attachment parenting piled up on the table next to the glider where I nursed my babbling baby boy from infancy into toddlerhood.<
I charted this new territory of motherhood quietly and calmly. E rattled off the barnyard animals but he wasn't walking, or even attempting to cruise around from coffee table to sofa to ottoman to wobbly fall on the floor.
It will come, I assured myself and my then-mother-in-law, who fretted that her babies walked early and mine did not.
All of his energy is going to conversation, I said, repeating the mama-wisdom I'd heard my mother say and her mother say. I believed it. Still, I'd carry that notebook with me to see the pediatrician, who I knew was relaxed about children's individual growth and development, just in case she asked where his energy was going if it wasn't pushing him up on his feet and propelling him around our tiny apartment.
She never asked, at least in a worried way. And he did walk, at 15 months. Then he ran and climbed and gazed lovingly at Gloria Estefan and shook his tiny, diapered booty. He was potty-trained and sent off to preschool. He eventually skipped with proficiency and can wheel a scooter with the best of 'em at the park. And he did all of that, talking the entire time, providing his own color commentary to each milestone he passed.
As I ticked off the milestones in my head, notebook and then reassuring discussions with E's grandmothers, I felt the slide into a different parenting space. One where the worries shifted from "will he ever really learn to tie a shoe without my assistance?" and "please, God, let him master the art of peeing standing up" to bigger childhood concerns we all cringe to see coming. Bullying. Broken hearts. Driving. Drugs. Prom date disappointment. Moving away. That first god-awful apartment with seven other laundry protesters. The first job interview. Love. They'd come. But not yet. They were off somewhere in tweendom or teendom or beyond.
Once he was safely in big-boy undies, I thought the milestones had subsided and The Big Stuff was enough off in the distance that I could breathe easy. What I didn't know was that the milestones would keep coming, and bring a gasp of surprise and wonder and bittersweet delight.
I got that the moment I heard E read aloud for the first time. Sure, I knew it was going to happen soon. For a year or two, he'd been sounding out words and memorizing books we'd lovingly brutalized reading over and over again. He built a solid list of sight-words, much like that first list of vocabulary, and soon, he was stringing together sentences. I urged him on, we practiced, he learned to write as he read and the two skills skipped along happily with my talker of a boy.
Then the words came tumbling out of his mouth for pages at a time. And the tears fell down my smiling cheeks while more words came. I'd try to capture it all on video, and only end up with bits and pieces. Or I'd mean to press record but would find my fingers unable to move away from holding the book and my boy as he read to me. As he read to me.
Here he is at seven, reading pages from a favorite, funny book. A first-grader, his amazing teacher pushed him to think and research and ask questions and told him it was time to read more. She gave him his first chapter book to read on his own. It was from the Cam Jansen series. He didn't love it. He liked it (he's diplomatic that way) just enough to open his hands when I handed him another chapter book and another and another to read on his own.
That milestone of reading at six became the even more astounding milestone of whizzing through chapter books at seven. Today, nearing the end of age eight, this kid hates to go anywhere without a book. He's devoured the three series by Rick Riordan in a matter of months and he cannot wait for the next 500+-page book to come out this fall. He prefers to lay side by side before bedtime, reading independently for a bit rather than letting me read aloud to him.
I miss that sometimes. I think I cherished Trumpet of the Swan by E.B. White even more than the words he wrote deserved (and they deserved a lot of love) because it was the last chapter book I read aloud to my son this year. I won't hold that sadness, though, because it is so fun to see E buried inside a story, bursting to talk about the characters and begging to stop off at a bookstore.
At seven, with a biography of Jackie Robinson in his backpack and Diary of a Wimpy Kid on his nightstand and 39 Clues at his dad's house, all simultaneously half-read, he still hadn't figured out how to breathe underwater during swimming lessons and was in a full-on boycott of even TRYING to ride his bike. (The swimming came the next spring but he's still a bicycle rebel. And so I buy another book, and exhale.)
This kid is who he is, and I get the joy of discovering him every day. That's not overly sentimental. Sometimes it is exhausting and hard and full of fret. But most moments, it is me with my notebook or laptop or video recorder or chapter book, meticulously marking the path he sets out on. One word, one step, one sentence, one chapter, one series, one mother's spiral notebook, one milestone at a time.
The rest will come. Today, all of his energy is going to reading.
This post is inspired by Shot@Life, an initiative of the United Nations Foundation that educates, connects and empowers the championing of vaccines as one of the most cost effective ways to save the lives of children in the world’s hardest to reach places.
During Shot@Life’s Blogust, 31 bloggers, one each day in August, are writing about moments that matter. For every comment on this post and the 30 other posts, Walgreens will donate a vaccine (up to 50,000 vaccines). A child dies every 20 seconds from a vaccine-preventable disease. We can change this reality and help save kids’ lives!
Sign up here for a daily email so you can quickly and easily comment and share every day during Blogust! Stay connected with Shot@Life at www.shotatlife.org, join the campaign on Facebook and follow them on Twitter.
Please leave a comment below. Every comment provides a vaccine for a child.
Reader Comments (216)
I was the same way -- LOVED reading at that age! Thanks for this great post!
This gave me great joy to see/read/hear. I so appreciate the reminder that yes, it will happen, kids will get to each of these milestones in their good time, and we would do better to enjoy/support the journey than to obsess about the timing. Thank you for this lovely piece!
Thank you for sharing a wonderful story and for supporting other children with shot@life.
What a wonderful snapshot of a special child. My toddler is just reaching the age of talking non-stop, and it's amazing to watch. I can't wait for the reading stage, though now is a lot of fun.
It is a bittersweet moment when our children prefer to read on their own to having us read aloud. We still treasure those moments when the whole family would sit together while one or the other parent read books aloud. Library day was always a big deal! Congratulations on fostering a love of books in E'.
Love. Happy Blogust!
oh what a sweet and wonderful post!! I can not WAIT until W has learned the magic of reading.
Such a lovely post! And so happy to support Shot@Life with a comment. :-)
Beautiful post!
Reading is such an important milestone in a child's life. I remember reading my first book at 4; chapter books at 5 and an ill advised run in with Stephen King's Kujo as age 6(a story for another day). To this day I am a reading fiend. I've always loved reading and my wish is for every child to love it as much as I do.
I hope my kids are kindred spirits with E. (They seem well on their way.)
Brought back fond memories of when my own son caught the reading bug. Thank you!
I love the picture of him reading from the tub -- that's a habit I still haven't outgrown :)
LOVE kids that read! so wonderful.
"And so I buy another book, and exhale."
So beautiful. And beautiful, too, the relentless march of photographs of his reading, concluding with his reading in the bathtub.
I always enjoy your posts, but I LOVE this post. It brings back memories of when I first started reading, my mom and I would read a chapter or two of a book every night... but then eventually I would get impatient, and just read the whole book (poor mom!) without her. :)
Great post. Here is hoping shot at life allows all mothers to have the same concerns and worries.
Let's hear it for book-lovers!
Having just returned from the library with 12 books to read to my 4 year old, I'm looking forward to the day when she will read to me. Until then, I enjoy every single moment of our reading time. Thank you for sharing your memories.
Heartwarming story! It's amazing how many milestones there really are in ones lifetime!
Lovely!
It's so funny when I think back to how I agonized over every minute that my first born was "past due" some milestone according the the books. Now on number 4, I just cherishing every minute and relish every sound or movement, no matter when it occurs.
What a wonderful story! My sons liked to be read to and it was a time together that I really enjoyed! Thank you for sharing and for your help with this great cause! : )
God bless! ♥
Love reading about E's adventures and especially what he's reading. I use the info to suggest books for the grand kids!
What a beautiful post and a beautiful son you have. It is true, it is a joy and a blessing to discover our children each day (as well as exhausting and fretful in a good way). Thank you for sharing.
We just found out about Blogust '13. Such a great idea! Thanks for sharing such a great post, Jessica.
I love reading your words, which paint a picture as clear as the sky over Lake Michigan on a sunny summer day. I love your joy in E's growth and development--and your acceptance of him as he is. Who he is, is wonderful! A talker and a reader and a smiler and an animal lover! My kind of boy! Thank you for sharing him with us.
Maybe that wasn't meant to make me tear up but I kept thinking of my favorite moments when teaching my children to read and wondered if I had ever written them down. Big, sloppy kisses for E from me.
Thanks for this great piece. As the father of a very different 7-year-old son, I appreciate the idea of discovering him every day. (I'm also impressed by how well you remember the milestone moments!)
My husband and I re both avid readers and certainly hope our little ones pick up the habit too, at three and one, its a bit too soon to tell, but we read as a family daily.
Oh Jessica, I'm so moved. We share so much, I had no idea--the early talking, the late walking, the love of reading, the milestones that keep surprising and delighting day in and out. With two kids, each on the other side of 7, I feel like I can hold this post tightly in my heart. Thank you.
Kids are all so different in the development of milestones and it is a wonder! Learning to read and a love of books is a true gift that will last a lifetime. It will make all the educational
milestones so much easier but more importantly it opens up the whole world and all it has to offer for exploration!
Indeed a true lifetime gift !
He reminds me a lot of my oldest who has read all the books you mentioned as well! And my son also has that "stay cool" shirt! I love it that they love to read... :)
What a beautiful post, Jessica. I can so relate – my daughter didn't walk until almost 17 months. My pediatrician, like yours, was not worried at all (and kept repeating the theory that late walkers were stronger readers, which turned out to be totally true) but it was my MOM who was freaking out with her daily phone calls. I finally had to take her to the next checkup with me, just to have the doctor reassure her that all was fine. And, fittingly, my mom was in the room when my daughter took her very first steps.
Thanks for posting this great idea!
Very beautiful post for an amazing cause.
Such a sweet tale! It reminds me of myself as a child :)
Thanks Shot@Life!
♥Emma
http://itsemmaelise.tumblr.com
Love reading posts by moms about being a mom. I can always relate in some way!
Thank you for sharing this!
That's a kid who loves to read! At 7 my son discovered his love for reading and writing as well. It's an important skill and it's great to hear he discovered at an early age. Thank you for participating in Blogust!
Sounds so much like my own seven year old son! "Mom, all I want to do is READ!"
Thanks for another great article! I'm loving this Blogust stuff!!
Seven! I can't believe we're already on day 7. Seven is the year of independence combined with that still childish innocence. I loved 7. Thank you for bringing seven back to me again.
How wonderful that your son shares your love of words, a gift that will last a lifetime.
What a great post! Thanks for being part of Shot@Life!
I wish I'd written down more milestones with my twins. But I loved remembering glimpses of them and living vicariously through yours. Sweet post!
Those early milestones are so exciting - and very sweet.
My oldest boy starts kindergarten in a few weeks. He already rarely goes anywhere without a book, but I know that's going to go into hyperdrive when he learns to read himself.
When those floodgates open and they first truly read on their own--for me that was greater than all the other milestones rolled up together.
I followed because of Blogust; I'll be back because of your writing. Lovely tale, lovingly told.