is a single mama in the city, super-savvy editor, writer, video host and shameless shoe whore.
Wednesday
Aug072013
Unexpected milestones
Wednesday, August 7, 2013 
This post is inspired by Shot@Life, an initiative of the United Nations Foundation. Please leave a comment below. Every comment provides a vaccine for a child.
My son was five months old when he said his first word. This is the stuff of family legends that gets bent and bowed and tucked away and brought out again in a far-different shape that it was first created. One day that five-month milestone will be whittled down to three months or earlier, maybe shrink back to the womb. But five months is the true timeline.
I know because I was there to hear the "HI!" emerge from the babbling.
By the time he was a year old, I had a well-filled notebook lined with careful columns of the 120 words he could say. I tracked it all, just pages away from spiral-bound lists of when I breastfed him, how long his naps were, what he weighed at each well-check doctor appointment. I read like crazy and stacks of child-development books, affirmations for new parents, guides to schedules and sleeping and crying it out and attachment parenting piled up on the table next to the glider where I nursed my babbling baby boy from infancy into toddlerhood.<
I charted this new territory of motherhood quietly and calmly. E rattled off the barnyard animals but he wasn't walking, or even attempting to cruise around from coffee table to sofa to ottoman to wobbly fall on the floor.
It will come, I assured myself and my then-mother-in-law, who fretted that her babies walked early and mine did not.
All of his energy is going to conversation, I said, repeating the mama-wisdom I'd heard my mother say and her mother say. I believed it. Still, I'd carry that notebook with me to see the pediatrician, who I knew was relaxed about children's individual growth and development, just in case she asked where his energy was going if it wasn't pushing him up on his feet and propelling him around our tiny apartment.
She never asked, at least in a worried way. And he did walk, at 15 months. Then he ran and climbed and gazed lovingly at Gloria Estefan and shook his tiny, diapered booty. He was potty-trained and sent off to preschool. He eventually skipped with proficiency and can wheel a scooter with the best of 'em at the park. And he did all of that, talking the entire time, providing his own color commentary to each milestone he passed.
As I ticked off the milestones in my head, notebook and then reassuring discussions with E's grandmothers, I felt the slide into a different parenting space. One where the worries shifted from "will he ever really learn to tie a shoe without my assistance?" and "please, God, let him master the art of peeing standing up" to bigger childhood concerns we all cringe to see coming. Bullying. Broken hearts. Driving. Drugs. Prom date disappointment. Moving away. That first god-awful apartment with seven other laundry protesters. The first job interview. Love. They'd come. But not yet. They were off somewhere in tweendom or teendom or beyond.
Once he was safely in big-boy undies, I thought the milestones had subsided and The Big Stuff was enough off in the distance that I could breathe easy. What I didn't know was that the milestones would keep coming, and bring a gasp of surprise and wonder and bittersweet delight.
I got that the moment I heard E read aloud for the first time. Sure, I knew it was going to happen soon. For a year or two, he'd been sounding out words and memorizing books we'd lovingly brutalized reading over and over again. He built a solid list of sight-words, much like that first list of vocabulary, and soon, he was stringing together sentences. I urged him on, we practiced, he learned to write as he read and the two skills skipped along happily with my talker of a boy.
Then the words came tumbling out of his mouth for pages at a time. And the tears fell down my smiling cheeks while more words came. I'd try to capture it all on video, and only end up with bits and pieces. Or I'd mean to press record but would find my fingers unable to move away from holding the book and my boy as he read to me. As he read to me.
Here he is at seven, reading pages from a favorite, funny book. A first-grader, his amazing teacher pushed him to think and research and ask questions and told him it was time to read more. She gave him his first chapter book to read on his own. It was from the Cam Jansen series. He didn't love it. He liked it (he's diplomatic that way) just enough to open his hands when I handed him another chapter book and another and another to read on his own.
That milestone of reading at six became the even more astounding milestone of whizzing through chapter books at seven. Today, nearing the end of age eight, this kid hates to go anywhere without a book. He's devoured the three series by Rick Riordan in a matter of months and he cannot wait for the next 500+-page book to come out this fall. He prefers to lay side by side before bedtime, reading independently for a bit rather than letting me read aloud to him.
I miss that sometimes. I think I cherished Trumpet of the Swan by E.B. White even more than the words he wrote deserved (and they deserved a lot of love) because it was the last chapter book I read aloud to my son this year. I won't hold that sadness, though, because it is so fun to see E buried inside a story, bursting to talk about the characters and begging to stop off at a bookstore.
At seven, with a biography of Jackie Robinson in his backpack and Diary of a Wimpy Kid on his nightstand and 39 Clues at his dad's house, all simultaneously half-read, he still hadn't figured out how to breathe underwater during swimming lessons and was in a full-on boycott of even TRYING to ride his bike. (The swimming came the next spring but he's still a bicycle rebel. And so I buy another book, and exhale.)
This kid is who he is, and I get the joy of discovering him every day. That's not overly sentimental. Sometimes it is exhausting and hard and full of fret. But most moments, it is me with my notebook or laptop or video recorder or chapter book, meticulously marking the path he sets out on. One word, one step, one sentence, one chapter, one series, one mother's spiral notebook, one milestone at a time.
The rest will come. Today, all of his energy is going to reading.
This post is inspired by Shot@Life, an initiative of the United Nations Foundation that educates, connects and empowers the championing of vaccines as one of the most cost effective ways to save the lives of children in the world’s hardest to reach places.
During Shot@Life’s Blogust, 31 bloggers, one each day in August, are writing about moments that matter. For every comment on this post and the 30 other posts, Walgreens will donate a vaccine (up to 50,000 vaccines). A child dies every 20 seconds from a vaccine-preventable disease. We can change this reality and help save kids’ lives!
Sign up here for a daily email so you can quickly and easily comment and share every day during Blogust! Stay connected with Shot@Life at www.shotatlife.org, join the campaign on Facebook and follow them on Twitter.
Please leave a comment below. Every comment provides a vaccine for a child.
Reader Comments (216)
What an amazing entry. Hoping my son holds onto his love of reading throughout his life. He is almost 3 and we read many books a day and his memory is so great he sometimes finishes the sentences. I am looking forward to the day he legitimately reads the sentences to me. Great blog!
The gift of language is so important. What a sensitive mom to realize that all children (including yours) have their own timetable for growth and development.
Yay for 7 year olds!
Truly inspiring.
Love of reading is one of the best things a parent can do for a child. And vaccinate them :)
Love it. Thanks for sharing
Great post! Thanks for supporting Shot@Life! :)
Great post and a big thanks to you, shot@life and Walgreens!
Memories of time spent reading to my daughter are some of my most cherished.
A friend directed me to this blog and I'm thrilled to read about E's talking, reading, and writing milestones! I can catalogue my own childhood with the different book series I read (Sweet Valley, Boxcar Children, Anne of GB, Goosebumps, etc.). Most importantly, my parents were huge supporters of my reading anything and everything I could get my hands on, and it's clear you're one of those awesome parents too! Keep up the good work!
How inspiring, I hope when I have kids they're into reading like this!
That reminds me so much of myself -- always tucked under a blanket with a flashlight so that I could read long after my parents told me to go to sleep. I thought I was so sly, but I'm sure they were keen to my sneakiness. What parent wouldn't want their child to love reading? My heart warms up when I watch my children sitting side by side on the couch reading, alone or to each other. I mentally give myself a pat on the back, feeling like I've done something right! Your boy is fantastic. P.S. I love the video of him reading. I'm now inspired to remember to capture moments like that; they pass by too quickly.
Thanks for helping me cross off one item from my list of mommy failures. Today I refuse to feel badly that my 7 year old won't ride a bike, and instead I'll feel great that he is in good health, loves science and math, plays soccer even though we didn't put him on a team, and provides the best artwork in the house.
Thanks for sharing, a really nice post! :)
I love it when I see little ones with books in their hands reading out loud. So many things can be discovered through reading.
Nice work, mom! Love the support you give your little one!
As a father with grown up kids(!) I often laugh with their mother about these kinds of memorable life events. Great story and a great effort by Shot at Life (UNF)
Love reviewing the timeline of E growing up over the years. Sweet memories. Wish I'd known him as a baby!
This is a wonderful post..thanks for sharing
Wonderful piece. Reminds me of milestones with my own two boys -- now 14 and 20. Accepting kids as they are is so important, and exhausting!
Thank you for sharing your story!
I remember how I loved to read when I was seven!!
Thank you very much for sharing this inspiring story. Mothers who nurture their children's talent will make this world a better place.
So encouraging to read about another child who reached different milestones at different times. Lovely read.
Beautifully written! I love your boy!
Awesome!
Ahhh my little bookworm also didn't walk until she was 15 months. And now I have a preemie in the NICU, and milestones are viewed through a ver different lens: she's 34 weeks today gestationally, in her 10th day of life, almost at full feeds and on room air. One day at a time.
My kids are like this, too - always with a book in hand. Lovely tribute to your son; thanks for sharing!
As an author, I love, love, LOVE to see the journey of life-long readers. There are so many ways to connect with great books these days—with the work right at our fingertips, on the phone/iPad/computer. There's nothing like holding a book in your hands, though—and certainly nothing like putting one in the hands of a child who is excited for every journey they take in the pages. I think it's awesome that your baby adores the written word, and that you indulge his habit—the best kind of habit there is!
The magic of children is they allow us to look again with their fresh eyes on the things that enchanted us.
It sounds like E has every chance in the world to discover who e is and what e wants to do. Wouldn't it be nice if every parent could provide safety, health and nutrition to their child so they could grow up and discover opportunities.
It sounds like E has every chance in the world to discover who e is and what e wants to do. Wouldn't it be nice if every parent could provide safety, health and nutrition to their child so they could grow up and discover opportunities.
This is so true. My girl was a late walker and talker, then burst into conversation practically overnight. My boy was running at 10 months, but is still gaining words one at a time. Each kid develops at their own pace, in the way that's right for them.
What a lucky boy he is to have so much love for all he does. What a remarkable life he has had already and what a joy he is to his Grandpa and I. We are the lucky ones to have both of you so profoundly in our lives. I find throughout my house little notes he wrote when he scribbled or a line of "hat, hot, hit, hut" jaggedly formed on a post-it. We love post-its. His literacy is a joy. Then I think of all those lost children around the world with malaria, bad water, no homes, no roof, no family, no food, and minds and lives that need life. E and all those kids are ours and our responsibility. Thank you for this beautiful post, darling daughter.Mother
True individuals are a rare commodity in this world. Good for E and good for you!
I love the picture of him reading in the tub! A true bookworm!
He takes after his Grandmother a reading specialist. he is so cute.
Thank you for helping shot@life and sharing your lovely memories of your son.
Such a worthwhile cause. Anything to help needy children. Thank you for blogging
about Shot@Life and bringing awareness to others....keep up the good work!
Such a worthwhile cause. Anything to help needy children. Thank you for blogging
about Shot@Life and bringing awareness to others....keep up the good work!
I was just like your son as a kid - you couldn't separate me from the book I was reading. I'm still a bookworm, although I no longer read at the dinner table, and my mother can't admonish me for staying up until midnight with my nose buried in a book. ;) Great post!!
Awesome post!
Awesome! I love reading and my daughter is learning and loving, but I'm still waiting the moments where she just picks up a book and dives in with her whole self. :)
Apparently, I need to stop reading these posts today because you are all making me cry. I'm catching up and have landed on my dream: books! Oh the stories I could tell. But yours is sweet and beautiful and I find myself cheering E on as he reads more books!
Thank you for sharing this.
Wonderful account of your son's reading milestones!
Here's to unlocking one more important vaccine for a child who needs it most! :)
Wonderful post! Thanks so much for supporting such a great cause! I've been a fellow champion with Shot@Life since the beginning and am proud to continue my work to give every child a chance at a healthy life!
We have read to our little one since the womb, and now at three he loves books~
Thanks for supporting Shot@Life!
Beautiful post. Here's to many more milestones!